everybody hates number two...

it's sofa king (say it right and you'll get it...) hot outside here in winston-salem that i literally can't breathe.  i have to have an oxygen tank with me at pretty much all times, otherwise i would just die.  it's sofa king hot that i start sweating just thinking about having to go outside.  that's how hot it is.  my sweat starts to sweat.  it's awful.  my drawers be soaked with butt sweat, and you know how uncomfortable it is to have to walk about somewhere with wet, sweaty drawers.  it's borderline miserable.  i gotta carry my wet wipes with me so that i can stay dry.  i know that doesn't sound right, but it makes perfect sense to me.

speaking of wet wipes...this is awful and i can't really believe that i'm mentioning this online, but it's for the millions of readers (who should leave comments)...i had to booboo something awful this morning.  usually i eat consistently so that everything stays regular.  meanwhile, i've challenged myself to something absurd: i'm eating cheeseburgers in the cafeteria everyday until i can't stand it anymore.  the reason i'm doing this is firstly because it's all beef sliders.  i just recently found out that the burgers that i had as a child at school were actually of the soy persuasion.  that really killed my belief in mass-produced hamburgers.  the all beef sliders gave me a glimpse of hope, and this is how i'm celebrating.

i digress.  anyway, i don't know what the hell i had that threw me off my regularity, but i woke up having to booboo.  long story short, i made it to the restroom literally just under the buzzer.  it was the kind where you couldn't even pass gas for fear of what would really come out.  i was holding on to the railings for dear life, i tell you.  when i was finished...well...i peed.  you know you have yourself a really good booboo when you pee again at the end of it.  needless to say, i feel better now.

so, there's one more day before this first batch of kids is gone.  i wish i could say that this week has flown by, but it has not.  it's been a slow, agonizing five days, and there's still one more to go...and i fear that it will be the worst of all.  there are three of us doing my particular strand of "creative construction."  there is myself, of course, there is "jeanette," and there is "laura lee."  our rooms can be put in an analogy with goldilocks and the three bears.  my classroom is entirely too small, laura lee's room is incredibly gigantic, and jeanette's is just right.  but wait...i'm the veteran and they're the rookies.  why the hell do i get stuck in the damn shoebox?  i guess it goes without saying that i should be getting the VIP treatment when we move to chevy chase, md.  sidenote, why would anyone name a town after chevy chase?  but it turns out that it's a different person called chevy chase...or so i was told.

i'm blawging on location.  instead of the confines of my dorm room, i'm in the lobby, surrounded by the people with whom i work.  in my line of vision i can see kenan and kel (it's like...where's kel?  with kenan.  where's kenan?  with kel.  where are kenan and kel?  together.), there is jerome, there's laura lee, jakob, halle, and a bunch of others.  to my left are laura lee and "tootie," a rather height challenged coworker with a hilarious personality.  she's not at the top of the list, but she's easily in the top ten of "hood" actin' white girls i know.  actually, i just asked her and found out that the girl is half white and half hispanic.  that expains it.  they're playing "go fish."  bitches be trippin'.

speaking of trippin', tia and tamera put on an extremely amusing performance of a dance called "la touche." um...video to come later.

quick but forceful shouts go out to laura lee, jeanette, and "amanda," who all work in the same building as me...you know...way in wingate, nc (which is i would guess about 29 miles from the next nearest building at wake forest).  they're awesome, and for all the right reasons.  gotta go now so that no one will notice this slight anachronistic blawg...

time's up,

-w