have you ever played spades with black people? actually, have you ever played spades with some n*ggas? there is all kinds of foolishness and buffoonery and n*gga sh*t that goes on during a game a spades. and the strangest thing is that it's all part of the show.
huey and i played against tia (or tamera...they're twins) and her partner, "goliath," who is new here. he's actually quite tall at 6'5". he's to me what kel is to kenan. anyway, let me set the scene first so that you will be in the right frame of mind. before playing this "power couple" we had been playing against kel and his partner "jakob" (who is new to me but not this program). kel is white and jakob is black, and jakob just did not have the ability to compensate for kel's blacklessness. sidenote about kel...never mind. anyway, the way they were playing was unknown to me. instead of keeping score, it was just like whichever team got the most books won that game, and it was the best of seven. in addition to that, the two of spades was suddenly higher than the ace, but lower than the jokers. it was weird for sure. i prefer milk straight from the cow...but i adapt. so huey and i beat the sh*t out of those two cats and that was that.
then twin and goliath tried their hands. we all know that according to the law of averages, you win some and you lose some. we won some before them, so it was just our turn to lose some. if you ask either of them, they will spin you a ridiculous rumplestiltskin web of lies that makes them seem like they whooped our arses. it's simply not true. we barely lost, three games to their four. they happened to have good hands while ours were less than spectacular. considering how bad our hands were the entire time, and the narrow margin by which they won the whole game...i think we all know who the real winners were. if not physical, it was a personal moral triumph. and even then, we allowed them to think that they won to shut them up and give them the satisfaction that they so desperately needed. that, and i didn't want goliath to climb down the beanstalk and wreak havoc. so there's what really happened from a completely neutral perspective.
speaking of morals, i've realized that i am the moral center of all the groups to which i belong. slowly, through much observation, i am finding that there are others here who are of a sound enough mind to be in that group. jerome is of course in the group, as is shania. i mean c'mon, we've always been the moral center of this summertime group. whenever kenan (who actually is very hilarious...like kevin hart, but much much MUCH shorter...i'm gonna buy tickets to his comedy show) or tia/tamera or stallone or any of these other nudnicks get into their crazy shenanigans, we always manage to catch each others' eyes from across the room and shrug. because we're moral...that is why we shrug. it's a fact. if you're reading this and you're here and you've always wondered why, now you know.
the last day of training is tomorrow, as mentioned in the previous blawg, and then the real fun begins. for some reason, though, it's just not the same this year. last year i had "james." james was deceived by my uber-calm demeanor last year and got the first impression that i was cold and hard to befriend. we ended up being BFFs, and i expected him to be back this year. he informed me at the eleventh hour that he wasn't going to make it. for a while i did not want to come back if he wasn't going to be here. life would be pointless. we go together like whop-baba-loo-bop-a-whop-bam-boom. it was epic, our friendship. i'll see him next weekend though. i finally broke down and told him that i secretly sneak into his house at nite while he and his wife are asleep and teach their newborn baby (my godson/nephew) three things: volleyball, japanese, and dry wit.
that was a digression; i was supposed to be talking about the real fun beginning. but i've forgotten about whatever it was that was supposed to be, so i guess i've done all that i can think of for now. more new characters to come.
oh yeah...funny story before being out. yesterday during training, this girl, who we can call "wanda," randomly got up and walked across the room (this is while training is going on) to kill a bug. and how. she stomped whatever it was so hard; i think it registered as a 2.5 on the earthquake scale. i can't really tell though, but two people almost fell out of their seats, kenan being one of them. it would have been disastrous for him because he's already so short and on four phone books to see past his table. had he fallen there would have been a whole liability thing. anyway, good god she killed it dead. then walked back to her seat and carried on like this was just part of the day. according to kenan, who is short but has uncanny eagle eye sight, this bug was extremely small, and probably not even worth bothering. i think that's what made the situation so funny. had it been like one of those texas sized cockroaches, she would possibly have been regarded as a heroine.
ok, that's all for now, i'm out.
-w
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