why does the word "pissy" exist? if that word was stricken from all memory, then i probably wouldn't have been in such a pissy mood yesterday. by the way, my bad to those who had to suffer through it. i don't know; usually i exude a somewhat subdued and quiet demeanor about myself. i don't show too much emotion, because as we all know...a person who is governed by his/her emotions is pretty much useless. yesterday, though, something happened. i don't even exactly know what, but whatever it was really put me off.
if i tried to hint at it...it would definitely involve first day of school jitters. i feel like i'm just not ready for those ankle biters to invade the space which i have so diligently, meticulously, and painstakingly prepared, mostly because i know that they're gonna "f" it up on day one and we'll be fighting all the live long year. i mean, i always feel like that before the first day, but this time feels at least 5 times more intense than usual. just keep me lifted up in prayer.
when i get overly stressed about something, it tends to carry over into my everyday life. it eats and eats away at my otherwise bubbly personality and gnaws at my insides until eventually it kills...you. in a nutshell, it makes me pissy. that reminds me; i'll post about my personality test results next time. meanwhile, when i get pissy, i often get this feeling of being (and this may be the only time i use a preposition to end a sentence, reason being that it is part of an idiom) "got at." to feet "got at" is a terrible thing and i'm sure we've all felt this way before. if i had to explain the feeling, i would use phrases like..."the world is out to get me" and "nobody likes me" and "hermitic." needless to say, it's not a very good feeling.
it led to a realization of an ironically idiosyncratic pet peeve. here's the equation: i am a low talker and realize that there are times when people may not hear me. yet, i found that it sometimes annoys me when my voice is not heard. add to that a pissy mood, and all hell breaks loose. of course, i suppose i could speak a little louder, but as long as i can hear myself, what the hell is the problem? last nite, i went to the monthly board game marathon thing downtown and this little issue got me into a lot of trouble. most folks might not have known, but i knew, and at the end of the day, isn't that all that matters? i could specifically point out 5 people off the top of my head from last nite who inadvertently activated this self induced pet peeve...and i would not be lying if i said that i wanted to pretty much "dot their 'I's and cross their 'T's" if you know what i mean. but being the generous person i am, i can accept that, and my heart is still open.
i think that this whole blawging thing is proving to be therapeutic, because honestly, i grew to not like one person at all last nite, and would have been more than happy to not associate with that person ever again (i mean good grief...１人があんなに苛立たしいお喋りなんて...とんでもないよ!), but i feel like i've worked through it, and am ready to give it another go. thanx, blawgspot! it's like the doctor is in, but providing a free service.
okay, enough griping...about that. it's all in the past. most people have their own ways of venting anger. for example, my friend x gives people "5 minutes." that means don't interact with her for that long, and then everything is okay. i have a theoretical "list" on which i put things. as far as board games go, a game called "robo rally" went on the list as soon as i played it. let me explain something. there are all kinds of people in this world, all of whom are gifted in different ways. i was NOT given the gift of spatial awareness. i trip over things all the time. i was also not born with the ability to think quickly. it just takes some of us a little longer to "get it." this game is all about the spatial awareness and quick thinking. see where i'm going???
"galaxy truckers" is the latest addition to my list. basically, you and four other people are scrambling against a timer (mistake 1) to build a spaceship using the same group of pieces (mistake 2) that will hold up against various obstacles (mistake 3) that you can never predict (mistake 4), and you must try to build a ship that, at the very least, will be left in some sort of condition at the end of the game (mistakes 5 thru 99). this game and i are comparable to martin and gina, to george jefferson and florence, to jj walker and thelma, to kyle barker and maxine shaw, to the old married couple on "in living color" who always try to kill each other but in the end proclaim that "we STILL together!" it's a love/hate thing with this game. i either love to hate it, or hate to love it. i will always proclaim that that damn game is "infuriating." for some reason, though, i get a kick out of playing it. it's almost as if i enjoy the miserable feeling of getting my ship destroyed every round. remind me to see a psychiatrist; there might be some deeply seeded feelings i have yet to discover...that's it; "galaxy truckers" is off my list!
i've written too much about that, and didn't even get a chance to discuss how my social life is over with the first day of school being tomorrow. maybe i will do it later today and blawg about how i feel about it, or tomorrow on the actual first day to blawg about how it went. either way, i don't predict it will be very positive.
my thoughts and prayers are going out to me,
-w
No comments:
Post a Comment