got damn right. i'm gonna have to go a little out of order for this one. i just got wind of this just a while ago, and thought it very pertinent that i should interject this into the blawg.
apparently i've been called something along the lines of "intimidating" by one of the students...to the point where this particular student feels uncomfortable being in my group. one of my bosses, called "connie," came and spoke to me about it. she was talkin' 'bout this girl (who will be called "jackie") who honestly doesn't do anything i ask her to do...unless i repeat it at least fifty times. and hell, even then it's a coin toss with a fixed coin to see if she's actually going to do it. don't get me wrong; she's a smart girl. but damn, what the hell is going on with the quality of this program? i started doing this program three years ago and the kids at that time were great. they were kids who were nominated to be here by respected members of their communities (teachers and what not). they were excited to be here, and it showed in their enthusiasm and willingness to work, as well as their unnecessary need to follow every single direction given to them.
these damn kids now...i think we've run out of those kinds of kids. really. we've run out. we're fresh out. the kinds of kids we get now are smart...book smart, that is. they don't really have a lick of common sense. they are just regular kids, not the exceptionally bright and ambitious kids who used to frequent this program. somehow, this has turned into the internationally diverse version of a minstrel show. we, the "teachers," have our hands full with trying to deal with these sh*ts. they constantly do things that regular kids who would never get a recommendation to come here do. again, we've run out of good kids.
so then, what brings me to this soap box rant that has superseded a blawg post that i had planned? this jerk "jackie" has told my boss some things about me that have been taken out of context (of course, because telling the actual events would have been too much like right) and i've come out once again looking like the bad guy. don't get me wrong; i love to play that part when it comes to children. i think i've mentioned it before in a previous blawg, but i think now's a good time to re-emphasize it. it is not in my nature to cater to the whims of children. last time i checked...i was the adult and adults tell children what to do. i don't think that i will ever tell a child to do something that will intentionally put him/her in danger (unless i feel the need to). i think i'm digressing...it's getting late and i'm getting tired.
i haven't been getting the sleep that i've been getting. i had worked myself in the past to a point where i could get everything prepped and ready and be in bed in time to get me a good eight to ten hours of sleep. i had everything down to a science, a science. remember, when you're really wanting to emphasize a point you have to repeat it. you just have to repeat it. now i'm finding myself in a position where i feel like it's my very first time doing the program. i think it's because not only did i not want to come this year, but i'm doing a subject that i have never done before. i've become an NYSP virgin, lol. so i'm constantly walking around this inanely huge campus setting up stuff that i don't really know about, and trying to understand what the hell i'm trying to do.
i digress. because speaking of trying to do things, this girl jackie has been trying to get on my nerves. in addition to her not doing what she's been asked to do, she has some weird obsession with sticks. i mean sticks like from outside. every time we go outside she finds a large stick, picks it up, swings it around, and investigates it like a bird. everyday this week so far, she has taken sticks and followed those procedures. yesterday she had a branch. i know it was a branch because it had twigs and each twig was full of leaves. i simply had to stare at her. i didn't say a word; i just stared. finally, after a few minutes she asked why i was staring.
me: baby, if i'm looking at you crazy, it's probably because i've asked you to leave the sticks alone and you keep not leaving them alone.
so anyway, connie tells me that jackie has been telling her mom these things that make me sound much worse than i really am, and that bothers me. it's a pet peeve of mine when people come to me charged up and i have no clue why, especially considering that things have been said about me that are either untrue or taken completely out of context. damn i'm tired; i can't hardly think straight, lol. so connie told me that jackie might be moving to tootie's classroom, to which i calmly (yet excitingly) replied, "move her." i ain't got no time (sic) for anymore buffoonery than what i'm already dealing with this week. it's already a sh*tty week here in general anyway, so what good is it to add a silly ho into the mix? move her arse, dammit, move her arse.
i told connie that my feelings were not gonna be hurt if she moved because, honestly, i have better things to do than waste my time on ignorant b*tches whose sole purposes in life are to be trippin'. connie said that she wants to ask jackie one more time if she's sure that she wants to move. i don't have time for that...again. if she wants to move, if she even has an inkling that she may possibly be thinking about trying to want to move, move her arse. tear her arse. kick her arse. but don't keep her in my room if she's going to be "uncomfortable." it wouldn't be right. and besides, we might actually get work done.
this blawg makes no sense. maybe next time i'll be in a better state of mind.
sierra mist is really good when it's been doctored up,
-w
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