everybody hates kandi (part i)...

this won't be too long because i am more than ready to lay it down for the night.  i promised, though, that i would dedicate a blawg just for this girl/woman/bitch/lady because she's pretty much ride or die when it comes to being a dedicated reader of my work.  it's great to know someone who's as sarcastic, yet sophisticated, as i am.  that person, of course, is none other than...

are you ready?

wait for it...

drumroll...

pause for dramatic effect...play this video as you read the blawg.  for some reason this just popped up in my head as i was thinking about what to write.

so, if you don't know, kandi is a former coworker of mine from the old school.  we met...not during my first year at the old school, but my third year.  i had known of her from the beginning, but it wasn't really until we starting teaching on the same team that i got to actually know her...and that was the start of something special...

as it turned out, we both started working at the old school the same year.  she had been a middle school teacher (and why the hell would anybody ever want to do that...voluntarily?) before, and decided that she wanted a change of pace.  apparently, and this is how it was told to me, she was good friends with our principal at the time, and that's how she got a position at the old school.  at first, i chalked it up to some sort of greek nepotism or something, because i had always assumed that they were in the same n*gga sorority.  it was later consolation to find out that they were not.

whenever i think about black fraternities and sororities, this is the first clip that comes to my mind.  back in the day i wanted to join one of those things.  i think some days i still do, and the day may come when i actually work up enough courage (and money...these sh*ts cost a lot of money) to go and do it.  it's on my bucket list, but only until i turn forty-two or so, then it'll just look quite sad.  there are a lot of reasons i wanted to join one.  if you're not familiar with the african-american culture (i'm not really caught up on it myself, but i do the best i can), when one joins a fraternity or sorority it's pretty much for life.  white ones only keep you through the time you walk across that stage.  black ones keep you even after you've passed on to the next life.  from what i heard, depending on which one you join, you're reborn as something different...oh well, that's for another time.

meanwhile, so i think that kandi got ushered into the old school.  she was doing forth grade reading at the time (which isn't ironic at all, especially when i try to add the fact that i teach forth grade now) and was as pregnant as an elephant.  her husband really gave it to her good.  yadda yadda yadda...we ended up on the second grade team.

she texted me the other night and said that the best time she had at the old school was when the second grade team consisted of her, jab, big mama, and me.  we didn't get much teaching done, but it was always a good laugh.  jab was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down the hall, and big mama had the largest room a school has ever had.  it was approximately the size of one third of a football field...regulation of course.  kandi and i shared these little twin rooms that were just around the corner from big mama.  if big mama's room was the size of a hummer, ours were the size of the little cap that you have to unscrew to put air in the hummer.  i'm not joking; they were that small.

the fondest memory i have of kandi (as if she's passed on to a better life) is this: every day at around two thirty or so, we would start getting the students ready to go.  that time, by the way, got earlier and earlier as the year went on...  because our rooms were right next to each other, i could always hear her yelling.  a typical rant in her class might be something like this:

kandi: Y'ALL ARE SEVEN AND EIGHT...NOT TWO...
(flash)
kandi: I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONE IN CHARGE...
(flash)
kandi: THAT'S A BOLD FACED, NAPPY HEADED, RAGGEDY, UGLY LIE...
(flash)

but the funniest thing was that in getting them ready to go, her kids would literally go crazy.  honestly, they would stop being semi-smart children and let go of all the idiocy that they had been holding back for the past seven hours...

kandi: alright, y'all, it's time to begin starting to prepare to get ready to go.  make sure you have your...

students:

oh it was awful, yet entertaining at the same time.  oh kandi...why did you have to get pregnant again, forcing me to go it alone for so many months without your hilarious yelling.  when jennifer joined our team, she yelled, but it wasn't the same...it just wasn't the same...

i gotta go to bed now because i can't think clearly, but stay tuned for a part two to this...all this reminiscing got me reliving these days again.  i really don't have to tell you, but that's pretty much what reminiscing is anyway.  if anyone has any hilarious kandi stories, let me know so i can include them in the next kandi blawg...

wasn't the theme song great?

-w