this is gonna have to be a quick for free blawg. i haven't been on lately because...well...i've been lazy. and as i very well should be. it's hard work being a fourth grade science and social studies teacher, as well as being the grade level chair. i maintain, though. it's a bit lonely at the top, but i'm used to having to live life that way.
meanwhile, on to the point of this ridiculously true anecdote. as you're aware, i'm here at this new school with trip and luby, my newly found younger brother and sister, respectively. well...i'll post another blawg about them soon, but for now...
trip allegedly "plays" baseball. there are a few things wrong with that statement. first of all, he's awful at it. second of all, he's overly aggressive. i mean, i'm 5'10" and he's 6'3". i weigh about 175lbs and he's around 280lbs. he picks on people smaller than himself, which has lately been me. luby's too busy flirting with him for him to pick on her, so i guess i'm the only one left. i digress...
so he's playing at this baseball game with these mexicans (that's how he described it, not me). somebody must have been smoking the stickiest of the icky because they decided that it would be a good idea for him to play first base. that person would soon realize his mistake. so...this guy is at bat and he connects...slightly. but he takes off running anyway because that's pretty much what you're supposed to do after you hit the ball.
he's running towards trip, and the guy at home gets the ball and throws it to him. so, to make sure you're caught up, the ball is now being thrown to trip from behind the guy who's running towards trip. the ball did not go straight to trip, and he had to step out a bit to catch it. as he extended his arm, the guy was nearing first base. this poor guy knew that he had to do something otherwise he would be out. in a last ditch effort, his feet left the ground as he began his slide to first base. meanwhile, trip had just caught the ball, although he was not on the base anymore...from having had to step out.
as the poor guy began his descent to the ground for what could have been a spectacular slide, trip (being the evil person that he is), lowered his arm to the guy's level and caught him around the neck. if you're a physics major, you'll have fun with this. imagine an object traveling in one direction, and then suddenly being forced to go the completely opposite direction with no warning, and at pretty much the same speed. this poor guy did like two backflips before slamming into the ground on his back. i was surprised that he didn't break his back, as hard as he landed. it was terrible. and trip is looking around like, "something hit my arm. what his my arm?" as i've come to discover, trip is about 110% muscle and -10% brain, with a 10% margin of error. he clotheslined the sh*t out of this poor guy, who would have gone to the hospital if it weren't for the fact that he was mexican, and (according to trip) didn't have any insurance.
if i hadn't seen it, i would never have believed it myself.
-w
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