good god. i'm doing it again. and by "doing it again" i obviously mean making yet another futile attempt to revive this part of my life. it's not much, but it is what it is. here's the thing about keeping and maintaining a blawg...it's overly time consuming, especially for someone who is as lazy as me. i mean, i'm pretty much typing out of my ass right now.
anyway, the primary reason i am resurrecting this otherwise neglected blawg is for more than one reason. a while ago (at least 10 months), a couple of people wondered why i had not updated this thing, and were eagerly awaiting newness. also, i felt like i could actually keep up with the demands of blawging this time 'round, as i do from time to time. so here i am. and i think what i'm going to do is change it up a bit. while i still will offer the advice and commentary that only i can, i'm going to try and blawg about my experience with the group with which i work this summer, NYSP. the creative part of this is going to involve changing the names of these coworkers of mine to protect the ignorant. in essence, i'm going to attempt to tell a story, introducing a few characters at a time...god help us all...
let's start with me, wesley. i will, and always will be, wesley. as a sidenote, i truly cannot stand the ignorance that people display when they throw an extraneous "t" in the middle of my name. honestly, does anyone know anyone whose name sounds the same as mine but is spelled "westly" or the lesser respected "westley"? those are the folks who i always (for some strange reason) want to put in a headlock and take to the floor.
anyway, it's me, wesley. i never change my name because i feel like anything that happens to me is pretty much well deserved, be it good or bad. it is what it is. so...i arrived in winston-salem, nc from dallas on yesterday in the afternoon. i was tired, of course, and wanted to take a nap. when i made it to my room, i found that there was two of everything: two beds, two sets of bedsheets, two chairs, two dressers, and (the least promising) two sets of instructions for us. i thought to myself, "why are there two? i don't need but one." i put foolish thoughts aside and took a nap. imagine my surprise when i woke up to another person in the same room. were these people at NYSP giving us roommates? really? are we being taken back to those days? of all the people it could possibly have been, it was (insert dramatic drumroll) "jerome," who just happens to be my real life coworker and not the worst person in the world. we have a strange relationship, him and me. we don't really speak outside of work, but there is a weird thing where we have to make each other laugh. it's like a contest where we're trying to find that one thing that's going to make the other person literally rupture a blood vessel from laughing so hard. it's great. jerome is brilliant.
and thank goodness, because there is a whole cast of characters, any of which could have been my roommate. i don't want to overwhelm your mind with everyone, so i'll hold off on that for now. meanwhile, i was relieved about jerome. i had always been under the impression that no one was going to come back this year, leaving me all alone. i'm a loner. surprise, surprise, almost everyone from last year is back again with all of their crazy antics. yesterday evening, in addition to jerome, i was (and i use this term loosely...i'll explain after this sentence) greeted by "stallone" (the country girl from down the street and around the corner) and "allie" (who's fallen victim to the dreaded 'chris jones' syndrome...explain later). i used the word "greeted" loosely because technically i wasn't greeted by either of them. i just happened to be in the room and they were all over jerome, and then a sneer of a smile sent my way. poo on them. i'm passive aggressive. and so the rest of the nite went. jerome is very popular with these people; i am not. shit happens. in came "kenan" (the height-challenged comic relief) and "kel" (kenan's giant friend...well at least to him...who scares me), who talked to jerome for at least seven minutes before acknowledging my presence. come on. i'm not that socially awkward...not all the time. long story short: i faded away quietly into obscurity and dreamed fantastic dreams.
next time: the introduction of more inane characters, and the beginning of training (which is what we do before the kids arrive), as well as a better description of what the hell i'm doing here for those who are not in the know.
peas out,
-w
12 July 2011
08 August 2010
everybody hates the last week...
well i can't quite say that i've made it. i can, however, say that i've almost made it. today begins my last week with NYSP (the name of the program i'm working). i have done some calculations based on data i've collected from previous weeks of working.
this week will go one of two ways:
1) it will go by extremely quickly.
2) it will go by excruciatingly slowly.
which one do i want to happen? honestly, at this point it doesn't even matter. i am kinda itching to get back to dallas, if not for anything else, to play volleyball again. i looked on websites for places around to play, and there are some that aren't too far away. they don't have regular times for play, however, and some can't be relied upon to have enough people to have good play. foiled again. but as far as getting back goes, i've come up with a rudimentary plan of action (which is a lot more than i put together when i came out here in the first place...on a whim).
i plan on driving back on the "hypotenuse" trail. let me explain that. i drove from dallas to atlanta, which was the longer side of what will soon become a right triangle. from there, i went upwards to north carolina, and then here (chevy chase, MD...which we might as well just call washington, DC). this is the shortest side of the aforementioned right triangle. these two trips, when put together and drawn on a map (in a crude line), make a right angle (sort of). going back to dallas, i plan to go directly from here, not cutting back through any places i've previously been. that will be the longest part/side of the triangle, effectively making it the hypotenuse. look it up in a math book. it's real.
meanwhile, i'm already starting to get a little sad about leaving here. there are so many things i can mention, from my roommate chris (AKA the dwarf the dwarf...so good we named him twice), who is a constant and almost infinite source of comedy, to tyrone (call him), who claims to be able to sing, but for reasons unknown, won't do it. i'm starting to think that he can't do it at all, and because i know he'll probably read this (because i told him i'd mention him), give up the fake humming/pretending you're such a good singer that all you need to do is hum to get your point across. i'm finally on to you, "marvin fake" (hilarious play on words for marvin gaye), or should you be called "foul green" (hilarious play on words for al green)? but i wish you the best in your future endeavors. i'll be sure to mention more people, but it's almost time for me to go to this meeting to begin the last week.
by the by, i've decided to wish people the best. no more of this hating thing, which i tried and did not like. instead of publicly hating on people, i just smile, nod my head, and wish them the best. the audience in my head is going to love it. you know i live my life like a sitcom. i imagine a studio audience is watching everything that unfolds around me. i'm so tired; my thoughts are running all across the internet.
readyyyyyyyyyy...stop.
-w
this week will go one of two ways:
1) it will go by extremely quickly.
2) it will go by excruciatingly slowly.
which one do i want to happen? honestly, at this point it doesn't even matter. i am kinda itching to get back to dallas, if not for anything else, to play volleyball again. i looked on websites for places around to play, and there are some that aren't too far away. they don't have regular times for play, however, and some can't be relied upon to have enough people to have good play. foiled again. but as far as getting back goes, i've come up with a rudimentary plan of action (which is a lot more than i put together when i came out here in the first place...on a whim).
i plan on driving back on the "hypotenuse" trail. let me explain that. i drove from dallas to atlanta, which was the longer side of what will soon become a right triangle. from there, i went upwards to north carolina, and then here (chevy chase, MD...which we might as well just call washington, DC). this is the shortest side of the aforementioned right triangle. these two trips, when put together and drawn on a map (in a crude line), make a right angle (sort of). going back to dallas, i plan to go directly from here, not cutting back through any places i've previously been. that will be the longest part/side of the triangle, effectively making it the hypotenuse. look it up in a math book. it's real.
meanwhile, i'm already starting to get a little sad about leaving here. there are so many things i can mention, from my roommate chris (AKA the dwarf the dwarf...so good we named him twice), who is a constant and almost infinite source of comedy, to tyrone (call him), who claims to be able to sing, but for reasons unknown, won't do it. i'm starting to think that he can't do it at all, and because i know he'll probably read this (because i told him i'd mention him), give up the fake humming/pretending you're such a good singer that all you need to do is hum to get your point across. i'm finally on to you, "marvin fake" (hilarious play on words for marvin gaye), or should you be called "foul green" (hilarious play on words for al green)? but i wish you the best in your future endeavors. i'll be sure to mention more people, but it's almost time for me to go to this meeting to begin the last week.
by the by, i've decided to wish people the best. no more of this hating thing, which i tried and did not like. instead of publicly hating on people, i just smile, nod my head, and wish them the best. the audience in my head is going to love it. you know i live my life like a sitcom. i imagine a studio audience is watching everything that unfolds around me. i'm so tired; my thoughts are running all across the internet.
readyyyyyyyyyy...stop.
-w
01 August 2010
everybody hates going back...
well, i'm back again, after having missed a good month and a half of blawging that should have been done. trust me, i sat down every nite and thought of about 9K worth of stuff about which to blawg, but then decided it was better to just take my arse to sleep. oh well, mayhaps one day i will be so damn inspired that i'll just sit down and write an omnibus that goes back over everything that has happened to me, (yes) including the now somewhat infamous metro incident.
so, i have arrived in chevy chase, MD (which thankfully is not named for the actor). i actually got in yesterday, after picking up a fellow co-worker (asamoah) from the airport. this place is like a junior college for young people. it's a 4H center, but when we got here, it looked more like an HBCU campus, and if you're familiar with prairie view...
apparently we're not the only group here. there is a slightly older group of kids who are actually related to our group (they're the next step up), but there is also a "church group" here. this "church group" is what makes this place seem so rowdy. it looks like a community center somewhere on MLK avenue. trust me, there is an MLK ave/dr/blvd/pl/tr/cir/st/etc in every single city, and...somehow...they're all in shady neighborhoods. i'm sure he would be so proud.
these kids are, i would say, maybe in their mid-teens maximum. they are crunk as hell. tyrone (call him) and i went out to CVS and mcdonald's last nite to get some stuff, and when we came back (it was past 10.0p) they were all out in the lobby and the halls, partying, even though they had just had a banquet and are probably supposed to be at church this morning. we all know how that goes...party hard saturday nite, then repent hard sunday morning... of course, i'm sure if any of them have a blawg it would detail how much fun they had last nite and how these old geezers tried to ruin their fun. oh well, to each his own.
meanwhile, i'm in my room. i decided to not request a roommate and leave it up to fate. everybody thought that james and i would be roommates because of the whole "bromance" thing, but i was actually paired with chris "the jones" jones. his new nickname: the dwarf the dwarf. so good we named him twice. he's cool though, very short, a little...well...little. we're boondocks buddies. i mean, c'mon, it's a great show. more short jokes on chris to come later, but for now i gotta get ready to get ready. the kids...i mean, "scholars" are coming today, and i am completely unprepared for what's to come. the "umbilical cord" has been cut. james and i are no longer co-facilitating; i have to be on my own. the higher ups are cackling hard about it, like the whole thing was planned. i'll show them, i'll show them all...
mayhaps i will begin work on an omnibus, because the public deserves to know about life above the mason-dixon line, and around it, and below it for that matter.
deuces,
-w
so, i have arrived in chevy chase, MD (which thankfully is not named for the actor). i actually got in yesterday, after picking up a fellow co-worker (asamoah) from the airport. this place is like a junior college for young people. it's a 4H center, but when we got here, it looked more like an HBCU campus, and if you're familiar with prairie view...
apparently we're not the only group here. there is a slightly older group of kids who are actually related to our group (they're the next step up), but there is also a "church group" here. this "church group" is what makes this place seem so rowdy. it looks like a community center somewhere on MLK avenue. trust me, there is an MLK ave/dr/blvd/pl/tr/cir/st/etc in every single city, and...somehow...they're all in shady neighborhoods. i'm sure he would be so proud.
these kids are, i would say, maybe in their mid-teens maximum. they are crunk as hell. tyrone (call him) and i went out to CVS and mcdonald's last nite to get some stuff, and when we came back (it was past 10.0p) they were all out in the lobby and the halls, partying, even though they had just had a banquet and are probably supposed to be at church this morning. we all know how that goes...party hard saturday nite, then repent hard sunday morning... of course, i'm sure if any of them have a blawg it would detail how much fun they had last nite and how these old geezers tried to ruin their fun. oh well, to each his own.
meanwhile, i'm in my room. i decided to not request a roommate and leave it up to fate. everybody thought that james and i would be roommates because of the whole "bromance" thing, but i was actually paired with chris "the jones" jones. his new nickname: the dwarf the dwarf. so good we named him twice. he's cool though, very short, a little...well...little. we're boondocks buddies. i mean, c'mon, it's a great show. more short jokes on chris to come later, but for now i gotta get ready to get ready. the kids...i mean, "scholars" are coming today, and i am completely unprepared for what's to come. the "umbilical cord" has been cut. james and i are no longer co-facilitating; i have to be on my own. the higher ups are cackling hard about it, like the whole thing was planned. i'll show them, i'll show them all...
mayhaps i will begin work on an omnibus, because the public deserves to know about life above the mason-dixon line, and around it, and below it for that matter.
deuces,
-w
27 June 2010
everybody hates opening day...
hello, north carolina. blah blah blah. my blawgs will be random from now until the end of this thing. a lot has happened and i have long hours, so by the time i get time to do this, i've forgotten more than half of what i wanted to mention. oh well...let's just start here...
well, training is finally over. it was a week long, and long hours on top of that (7.5a - 8.0p). it was not, however, not enjoyable. of course there were parts where i wanted to shoot myself in the neck, like child safety training and stuff like that, but all in all, not bad. by the by, i finally figured out what it is that i'm going to be doing. my official role is faculty advisor, and i work with a group of 16 kids on a particular strand of learning (there are 4 strands; mine is "creative construction") and we go through the program as if we were architects charged with building a museum. it's way detailed. we have to learn about scale, blueprints, floor plans, various building structures, the whole nine. meanwhile, ask me how much i know about architecture and designing buildings...
...i can't even put legos together...
the shock in all of this...the kids are as opposite from what i am used to than i could ever have imagined. compared to what i have to deal with at my school in dallas, these kids...i mean...there are no words i can think of to describe how much better they are here. my ears are inundated with constant "thank you"s and "i'm sorry"s and "excuse me, sir"s and lions and tigers and bears and hot damn. i was "warned" by a colleague who also works here that the kids were going to be like this. it's one thing to hear about it, but quite another to actually see it. damn these kids need to be in my classroom.
that's not to say they're not without their faults. by the way, today was the first day to see them. we've been preparing all week for their arrival. literally every minute of the day is planned out; there is no time to be piddlin' around. is it bad, then, that i've already got my group running on CP time??? anyhoo...this one girl (let's just call her cindy lou) is 10 years old, of the caucasian persuasion (which reminds me, i have become an overnite fan of "the boondocks"...more on that later), and knows how to not say the best thing. i was taking my group of kids, "scholars" as we call them, from the meeting place to our first team activity place. we're at wake forest university (shout out to the deacon devils out there) which is a nicely sized campus. it's hard to remember where everything is, especially if you have not had a lot of time to familiarize yourself with the campus layout. keeping that in mind, i got a little turned around finding greene hall.
forgive me for being human.
after the team time/leadership, we went to the auditorium, which was in another building, where we were going to see a magician (who was the most hilarious one to date). someone asked where we were going as we were walking. before i could even open my mouth, this heifer said, "i hope you don't get us lost...again." being a professional educator, i cut her an ugly stare, then laughed it off, saying that we were going the right way this time. in my head though...
so we're just outside the auditorium and my co-facilitator, james, was making small talk with a lot of the kids. we're all new to each other, we're looking for things about which to talk. this heifer, cindy lou, does it again:
james: ...and he's a great superhero.
heifer cindy lou: (as she's fiddling with some bracelet she made earlier) hey, do you have any duct tape?
james: (pulling out a water bottle with duct tape on it) actually, i do. what do you need it for?
heifer cindy lou: uh...your mouth.
pause. let's pretend for a second i'm james. here is what could potentially have happened:
me-james: what did you just say?
heifer cindy lou: i said, for your mouth.
me-james: let me stop you right there, you raggedy, no friend-having, face all pimply, anti-cute, annoying, disrespectful, stuck up...pity white girl. you don't disrespect me like that. you just met me 3 hours ago. now, i don't want this to get uglier than you have already made it...on second thought, yeah, c'mon, let's do this.
(i take my belt off, turn into pootie tang, and dive at her as the cartoon white fighting cloud appears)
but that did not happen...this did:
real james: oooh, good one! let's get ready to go inside, everybody.
there's a slight difference between the two scenes, huh? well, i probably would have done something similar to james, but in my head the first scene played out very clearly. meanwhile, i had a 12 hour day, and am getting ready for bed. i'll be posting some pictures from training and talking about some good times, like when asamoah's and my cinderella story in spades against jeremy and tikisha, who had that game won but lost horribly. the official score sheet? best believe i've got it.
peas out,
-w
well, training is finally over. it was a week long, and long hours on top of that (7.5a - 8.0p). it was not, however, not enjoyable. of course there were parts where i wanted to shoot myself in the neck, like child safety training and stuff like that, but all in all, not bad. by the by, i finally figured out what it is that i'm going to be doing. my official role is faculty advisor, and i work with a group of 16 kids on a particular strand of learning (there are 4 strands; mine is "creative construction") and we go through the program as if we were architects charged with building a museum. it's way detailed. we have to learn about scale, blueprints, floor plans, various building structures, the whole nine. meanwhile, ask me how much i know about architecture and designing buildings...
...i can't even put legos together...
the shock in all of this...the kids are as opposite from what i am used to than i could ever have imagined. compared to what i have to deal with at my school in dallas, these kids...i mean...there are no words i can think of to describe how much better they are here. my ears are inundated with constant "thank you"s and "i'm sorry"s and "excuse me, sir"s and lions and tigers and bears and hot damn. i was "warned" by a colleague who also works here that the kids were going to be like this. it's one thing to hear about it, but quite another to actually see it. damn these kids need to be in my classroom.
that's not to say they're not without their faults. by the way, today was the first day to see them. we've been preparing all week for their arrival. literally every minute of the day is planned out; there is no time to be piddlin' around. is it bad, then, that i've already got my group running on CP time??? anyhoo...this one girl (let's just call her cindy lou) is 10 years old, of the caucasian persuasion (which reminds me, i have become an overnite fan of "the boondocks"...more on that later), and knows how to not say the best thing. i was taking my group of kids, "scholars" as we call them, from the meeting place to our first team activity place. we're at wake forest university (shout out to the deacon devils out there) which is a nicely sized campus. it's hard to remember where everything is, especially if you have not had a lot of time to familiarize yourself with the campus layout. keeping that in mind, i got a little turned around finding greene hall.
forgive me for being human.
after the team time/leadership, we went to the auditorium, which was in another building, where we were going to see a magician (who was the most hilarious one to date). someone asked where we were going as we were walking. before i could even open my mouth, this heifer said, "i hope you don't get us lost...again." being a professional educator, i cut her an ugly stare, then laughed it off, saying that we were going the right way this time. in my head though...
so we're just outside the auditorium and my co-facilitator, james, was making small talk with a lot of the kids. we're all new to each other, we're looking for things about which to talk. this heifer, cindy lou, does it again:
james: ...and he's a great superhero.
heifer cindy lou: (as she's fiddling with some bracelet she made earlier) hey, do you have any duct tape?
james: (pulling out a water bottle with duct tape on it) actually, i do. what do you need it for?
heifer cindy lou: uh...your mouth.
pause. let's pretend for a second i'm james. here is what could potentially have happened:
me-james: what did you just say?
heifer cindy lou: i said, for your mouth.
me-james: let me stop you right there, you raggedy, no friend-having, face all pimply, anti-cute, annoying, disrespectful, stuck up...pity white girl. you don't disrespect me like that. you just met me 3 hours ago. now, i don't want this to get uglier than you have already made it...on second thought, yeah, c'mon, let's do this.
(i take my belt off, turn into pootie tang, and dive at her as the cartoon white fighting cloud appears)
but that did not happen...this did:
real james: oooh, good one! let's get ready to go inside, everybody.
there's a slight difference between the two scenes, huh? well, i probably would have done something similar to james, but in my head the first scene played out very clearly. meanwhile, i had a 12 hour day, and am getting ready for bed. i'll be posting some pictures from training and talking about some good times, like when asamoah's and my cinderella story in spades against jeremy and tikisha, who had that game won but lost horribly. the official score sheet? best believe i've got it.
peas out,
-w
15 June 2010
everybody hates packing...
well, here i am again, prompted once more by the goblin of gainful employment. actually, i'm taking procrastination to its extreme. resurrecting this blawg after so many weeks/months/years is just...well, it's almost sad. but what is done must be what is done.
i'm bringing this thing back to document my experiences on this newest of adventures in my life, which will be explained at a later date when i am more sane and competent. if you so choose, you may follow along and live vicariously through my grandiose life, but as usual, do so at your own risk. my life is full of garbage and things that you cannot imagine existed.
but i digress. i am moving to north carolina and maryland for a while, and i plan on leaving (driving) in about...five hours from now. i have not packed one sock. i guess i've got some work to do. packing is terrible because no matter how carefully you plan, you will always forget something. even if you don't, you'll spend the better part of the next day going over a mental checklist time and time and time again until you get a headache and somehow convince yourself that you have forgotten something. as long as i have my basic three (wallet, keys, cell phone) i should be good.
oh well, i'm gonna try and pack not (that was a typo, i meant "now"...or did i?) and get at least a couple hours of sleep before setting off for atlanta, where i shall spend a few days before my new job begins. oh, i'm so excited to go back to the atl, the place where i matured in college. i'm most excited about seeing my bestest best friend titi. we've been through a LOT together, which is saying something, because i try not to go through too much with too many people.
blah, procrastinating again. i'll hit this again from atlanta.
-w
i'm bringing this thing back to document my experiences on this newest of adventures in my life, which will be explained at a later date when i am more sane and competent. if you so choose, you may follow along and live vicariously through my grandiose life, but as usual, do so at your own risk. my life is full of garbage and things that you cannot imagine existed.
but i digress. i am moving to north carolina and maryland for a while, and i plan on leaving (driving) in about...five hours from now. i have not packed one sock. i guess i've got some work to do. packing is terrible because no matter how carefully you plan, you will always forget something. even if you don't, you'll spend the better part of the next day going over a mental checklist time and time and time again until you get a headache and somehow convince yourself that you have forgotten something. as long as i have my basic three (wallet, keys, cell phone) i should be good.
oh well, i'm gonna try and pack not (that was a typo, i meant "now"...or did i?) and get at least a couple hours of sleep before setting off for atlanta, where i shall spend a few days before my new job begins. oh, i'm so excited to go back to the atl, the place where i matured in college. i'm most excited about seeing my bestest best friend titi. we've been through a LOT together, which is saying something, because i try not to go through too much with too many people.
blah, procrastinating again. i'll hit this again from atlanta.
-w
23 September 2009
everybody hates sand...
a visit from the goblin of gainful employment prompts me to resurrect this neglected corner of the internet. actually, it was more like popular demand. damn, i can't even lie right anymore. anyway, i'm back to blawging...at least for the time being. so much has happened since the last time that i just can't bear to let another day go on. that, or i found some spare time in my back pocket.
let's start with volleyball. i seem to have reached a plateau. i play so many days a week for so long, but i find that i'm not playing as much as i was in the past. have i become old and decrepit? have i lost that zest for the game? am i so out of shape that i can't stand it anymore? hells no! i just hate the sand. whoever invented sand volleyball ought to be horse whipped. it just sucks. whenever i come home from playing i itch for the next 3 days. todd calls it "chiggers," but i think he's just trying to be racist without anyone knowing...i'm just kidding; some people don't even have to try.
anyhoo, indoor starts up next week, which really excites me because i am just plain old sick of going to the yucatan. not that it's a bad place, but sand sucks. i know i've said it before, but i think it bears repeating. sidenote: i'm signed up to play with x in sand doubles co-ed, and phil (the piano man) for same gender doubles also in the sand. i may be a hypocrite, but at least i know it. next week, though, marks the semi-triumphant return of team fun. i use "semi" because...well...it wasn't all the way triumphant. it's a long, rather sordid story that i'll save for another day. anyway, team fun is now in its 3rd season and it's an ever-changing cast of characters. i live my life like it's a sitcom, and i have this whole opening sequence in my head that maybe i'll have brock bring to fruition one day. it'll be great! i'll try to do updates about team fun's progress...and its ever-changing cast. we've got more member changes than destiny's child. shout out to destiny's child.
board games...are wearing me out. george on seinfeld put it best when he said that "worlds are colliding" because i feel the exact same way. i've got volleyball and board games and they are running all up on each other. i'm leaving volleyball early to play board games. i'm getting to board games late because i'm playing volleyball. it has become an endless struggle. the question of which will win isn't even an issue because the answer is obvious: they're both going to drive me into the ground before i realize it's too late.
this is for crystal...
people act like they've never seen these before, but when i first saw them i was on the ground laughing. god only knows why they struck me funny. AND, they got stuck in my head for the longest time. people said that i'd go crazy from having them in my head, but i rather enjoy it. plus, the lyrics are so flexible i can apply them to just about every aspect of my life.
PS: i'm really thinking about this team fun video now. i gotta get brock on that ASAP!
which brings me to the main topic...school...i have been at it now for a little over a month. actually, friday will be the end of five weeks worth of torture. of course i'm negative; as a natural pessimist, i wouldn't be doing my job if i wasn't complaining about something. meanwhile, shout out to a. willis (aka fantasia barrino)! so...i've been saying this and i'll put it here. i don't remember feeling like this so early in the school year. by "like this" i mean worn out and ready for summer. i mean, the year just started and i feel like it's time for a break.
these kids i have are pushing me to my limits, and i need to come up with a new game plan almost every day. it's ridiculous for them to be this bad. trust me when i say that it's not just me. i can only speak for myself, though. of course i won't directly mention kids' names here since they're minors and i'm out to do some heavy slander, so i'll stay with my code names. perhaps in a couple decades they'll figure it out. the way things are going, i'll be in another world by then.
i have a...let's call him "cedric." as a psychology major, i can say that this $#@!$ is as bipolar as the sun is hot. whether or not he really is is up to an accredited professional, but i calls 'em like i sees 'em. he's bipolar. anyway, it translates into some really funny moments after all is said and done. he's one of those people where you really just have to look back and laugh, but at the current time it's not so funny. i wanted to really play "tear dat" with him today. he showed his ass. we're doing testing where i have to test every single student. each student takes between 20 and 45 minutes and i have 20 students. i told them that it's important that they be quiet because it's not fair for that one person when everyone else is distracting them. needless to say, "cedric" really tested my patience, moreso than my other standby student, "jay." he does the kind of stuff where...he'll hit someone, then when that person tells me about it he'll vehemently deny it, even though i had been watching. he does petty shit like that all the time. and when he gets in trouble he has the nerve to try and hulk out and go postal like he's the alpha male. i told him to his face, "little boy, i will drop you where you stand." he better recognize; i'm not his teacher from last year. he will walk out of a room when things don't go his way. i let his ass go. sacrifice the one for the many. oh well.
and "jay" is my other project. he walks into the school and automatically gets on my nerves. just his presence is enough to make me sick of him. bless his heart, but i just don't like him at all. and the bad thing about the bad kids is that they will ALWAYS be at school, come hell or high water. meanwhile, my good kids will be absent all willy-nilly. i need them there. i need those test scores! my friend charity, who's also a 2nd grade teacher but at a different school, does a random 2nd grade quote of the day/week/period of time, and they're quite funny. i think i'll follow in her footsteps and do the same. i'm trying to think of one now, though, but they all end up the same way. i always end up muttering swear words under my breath and wishing i was still in japan. oh well, that's life.
hakuna matata,
-w
let's start with volleyball. i seem to have reached a plateau. i play so many days a week for so long, but i find that i'm not playing as much as i was in the past. have i become old and decrepit? have i lost that zest for the game? am i so out of shape that i can't stand it anymore? hells no! i just hate the sand. whoever invented sand volleyball ought to be horse whipped. it just sucks. whenever i come home from playing i itch for the next 3 days. todd calls it "chiggers," but i think he's just trying to be racist without anyone knowing...i'm just kidding; some people don't even have to try.
anyhoo, indoor starts up next week, which really excites me because i am just plain old sick of going to the yucatan. not that it's a bad place, but sand sucks. i know i've said it before, but i think it bears repeating. sidenote: i'm signed up to play with x in sand doubles co-ed, and phil (the piano man) for same gender doubles also in the sand. i may be a hypocrite, but at least i know it. next week, though, marks the semi-triumphant return of team fun. i use "semi" because...well...it wasn't all the way triumphant. it's a long, rather sordid story that i'll save for another day. anyway, team fun is now in its 3rd season and it's an ever-changing cast of characters. i live my life like it's a sitcom, and i have this whole opening sequence in my head that maybe i'll have brock bring to fruition one day. it'll be great! i'll try to do updates about team fun's progress...and its ever-changing cast. we've got more member changes than destiny's child. shout out to destiny's child.
board games...are wearing me out. george on seinfeld put it best when he said that "worlds are colliding" because i feel the exact same way. i've got volleyball and board games and they are running all up on each other. i'm leaving volleyball early to play board games. i'm getting to board games late because i'm playing volleyball. it has become an endless struggle. the question of which will win isn't even an issue because the answer is obvious: they're both going to drive me into the ground before i realize it's too late.
this is for crystal...
people act like they've never seen these before, but when i first saw them i was on the ground laughing. god only knows why they struck me funny. AND, they got stuck in my head for the longest time. people said that i'd go crazy from having them in my head, but i rather enjoy it. plus, the lyrics are so flexible i can apply them to just about every aspect of my life.
PS: i'm really thinking about this team fun video now. i gotta get brock on that ASAP!
which brings me to the main topic...school...i have been at it now for a little over a month. actually, friday will be the end of five weeks worth of torture. of course i'm negative; as a natural pessimist, i wouldn't be doing my job if i wasn't complaining about something. meanwhile, shout out to a. willis (aka fantasia barrino)! so...i've been saying this and i'll put it here. i don't remember feeling like this so early in the school year. by "like this" i mean worn out and ready for summer. i mean, the year just started and i feel like it's time for a break.
these kids i have are pushing me to my limits, and i need to come up with a new game plan almost every day. it's ridiculous for them to be this bad. trust me when i say that it's not just me. i can only speak for myself, though. of course i won't directly mention kids' names here since they're minors and i'm out to do some heavy slander, so i'll stay with my code names. perhaps in a couple decades they'll figure it out. the way things are going, i'll be in another world by then.
i have a...let's call him "cedric." as a psychology major, i can say that this $#@!$ is as bipolar as the sun is hot. whether or not he really is is up to an accredited professional, but i calls 'em like i sees 'em. he's bipolar. anyway, it translates into some really funny moments after all is said and done. he's one of those people where you really just have to look back and laugh, but at the current time it's not so funny. i wanted to really play "tear dat" with him today. he showed his ass. we're doing testing where i have to test every single student. each student takes between 20 and 45 minutes and i have 20 students. i told them that it's important that they be quiet because it's not fair for that one person when everyone else is distracting them. needless to say, "cedric" really tested my patience, moreso than my other standby student, "jay." he does the kind of stuff where...he'll hit someone, then when that person tells me about it he'll vehemently deny it, even though i had been watching. he does petty shit like that all the time. and when he gets in trouble he has the nerve to try and hulk out and go postal like he's the alpha male. i told him to his face, "little boy, i will drop you where you stand." he better recognize; i'm not his teacher from last year. he will walk out of a room when things don't go his way. i let his ass go. sacrifice the one for the many. oh well.
and "jay" is my other project. he walks into the school and automatically gets on my nerves. just his presence is enough to make me sick of him. bless his heart, but i just don't like him at all. and the bad thing about the bad kids is that they will ALWAYS be at school, come hell or high water. meanwhile, my good kids will be absent all willy-nilly. i need them there. i need those test scores! my friend charity, who's also a 2nd grade teacher but at a different school, does a random 2nd grade quote of the day/week/period of time, and they're quite funny. i think i'll follow in her footsteps and do the same. i'm trying to think of one now, though, but they all end up the same way. i always end up muttering swear words under my breath and wishing i was still in japan. oh well, that's life.
hakuna matata,
-w
04 September 2009
everybody hates bad kids...
well i'll be damned, i'll just be damned. that was pretty much what was going thru my head all week. i've completed my 10th day of school, and already i'm ready to take it to the house? inconceivable! already i'm ready for summer? rubbish! already i'm tired of the kids? bollocks! already i'm convinced that i won't last 165 more days? bullsh*t! or is it???
unless you have a weird work schedule where your "weekend" is on wednesday/thursday or something strange like that, i think it's safe to assume that everybody loves a friday. i mean, my friends and i go out dranking (because as we all know, i don't drink, i drank) and make very simple toasts: "to friday!" no one does that on tuesday, or thursday. and for some reason, wednesday is slowly becoming the new friday. i've been hearing about people getting together to hang out on hump day. whatever dude; my wednesdays will continue to be just what they are: wednesdays.
school news...it was not a very good week. i'm behind with my grading, my room looks an eternal mess, and the kids are...let's just say..."these pretzels are making me thirsty!" and that's the best thing i can say about them. i'm right at 20 kids, and these biatches are no joke. they are 2nd graders, but believe me when i say that they are hard. if you don't know what that means, then you, my friend, ain't hard. i consider myself a laid-back person, you know, very nonchalant and go with the flow. after my first year of teaching, i got very mellow very quickly. when kids have their temper tantrums, i just look at them strangely and ask if they are finished. then i wait for them to finish while continuing on with whatever i'm doing. usually i'm that kind of person. it cuts down on stress, it keeps me more sane, and the rest of the kids get a little scared to see that the teacher is so calm, because i believe that they see that kind of behavior in horror movies. you know, where people are calm for only so long before...
oh yeah, i tore it up today. i have three kids in particular (whose names i won't mention quite yet) who bother me constantly. for now, since they're minors, i'll call them jay, javier, and jared. those aren't their real names, but they help me reference their actual names.
anyhoo, "jay" is a spoiled brat who must get whatever he wants at the house, because that attitude carries over into the classroom; he gives up 98% of the time and gets an attitude when things don't go his way. he throws mini tantrums that cause me to stop teaching to deal with him. i think he feels like he needs the attention, but today i had to tell him to "kiss my black ass" if he thought that i was going to give him the satisfaction. yes, i actually said that to him. remember, these kids are hard; they need to be talked to like that every now and then. besides, in my defense i said a LOT more that that to him anyway. i'm usually not big on swearing, but for the kids, i must make an exception. anyway, this "jay" does not listen, he does not pay attention, he does not finish his work, he does not follow directions...let's just say he does not.
"javier" is quite literally...a wimp. he whines, he cries, he's not really bad but just highly annoying. the strange thing is that he knows he's a wimp, not because i told him so, but rather because society has assigned him that role in life. he can't help it, really, but i'm working with him to improve on it. i told him that he couldn't be a wimp in that class because he'd die...either by me or one of the other kids. we all know he's a wimp; let's just say...he's not the most popular puppy in the pound...
"jared" is no wimp. he thinks he runs the class. he tells people how much they "stank," how much dumber they are than him, how ugly they are, how nasty they are, stuff like that. little does he know the extent to which the pot calls the kettle black. he's gonna be my greatest work of art at the end of the year. i'm going to pull a "ty pennington" and make him my secret project. by june, he's going to be so damn polite people won't know who he is.
meanwhile, i can't believe that i let them get me all riled up on a friday! i was definitely fragile today. by the end of the day i was walking around with a belt around my neck and a song in my heart. what song? i believe it goes a little like this: "i hate you so much right now, i hate you so much right now...AHHHH...i hate you so much right now!" it's by kelis. they're so raw right now that i can't get any work done. i'm supposed to individually assess their reading, but it's very hard to focus on 1 child when 19 others are cutting up even though i'm still in the room. yeah, they're that bold. but believe you me...that sh*t ain't gon' last. i realize now what i have to do. oh yeah, we 'bout to fight. i'm not really a "hood" person, but come tuesday (monday's a holiday...luckily for them) i'm putting the north dallas to the side and bringing out the oak cliff...just for them. i think it'll be fun!
wow, that rant really helped me. now i'm ready for a drank to kick off the weekend...i just woke up from a nap to cleanse my mind of children...yuck.
to friday!
-w
PS: i'll post again tomorrow or some time about things more relevant in my life, like volleyball and board games.
unless you have a weird work schedule where your "weekend" is on wednesday/thursday or something strange like that, i think it's safe to assume that everybody loves a friday. i mean, my friends and i go out dranking (because as we all know, i don't drink, i drank) and make very simple toasts: "to friday!" no one does that on tuesday, or thursday. and for some reason, wednesday is slowly becoming the new friday. i've been hearing about people getting together to hang out on hump day. whatever dude; my wednesdays will continue to be just what they are: wednesdays.
school news...it was not a very good week. i'm behind with my grading, my room looks an eternal mess, and the kids are...let's just say..."these pretzels are making me thirsty!" and that's the best thing i can say about them. i'm right at 20 kids, and these biatches are no joke. they are 2nd graders, but believe me when i say that they are hard. if you don't know what that means, then you, my friend, ain't hard. i consider myself a laid-back person, you know, very nonchalant and go with the flow. after my first year of teaching, i got very mellow very quickly. when kids have their temper tantrums, i just look at them strangely and ask if they are finished. then i wait for them to finish while continuing on with whatever i'm doing. usually i'm that kind of person. it cuts down on stress, it keeps me more sane, and the rest of the kids get a little scared to see that the teacher is so calm, because i believe that they see that kind of behavior in horror movies. you know, where people are calm for only so long before...
oh yeah, i tore it up today. i have three kids in particular (whose names i won't mention quite yet) who bother me constantly. for now, since they're minors, i'll call them jay, javier, and jared. those aren't their real names, but they help me reference their actual names.
anyhoo, "jay" is a spoiled brat who must get whatever he wants at the house, because that attitude carries over into the classroom; he gives up 98% of the time and gets an attitude when things don't go his way. he throws mini tantrums that cause me to stop teaching to deal with him. i think he feels like he needs the attention, but today i had to tell him to "kiss my black ass" if he thought that i was going to give him the satisfaction. yes, i actually said that to him. remember, these kids are hard; they need to be talked to like that every now and then. besides, in my defense i said a LOT more that that to him anyway. i'm usually not big on swearing, but for the kids, i must make an exception. anyway, this "jay" does not listen, he does not pay attention, he does not finish his work, he does not follow directions...let's just say he does not.
"javier" is quite literally...a wimp. he whines, he cries, he's not really bad but just highly annoying. the strange thing is that he knows he's a wimp, not because i told him so, but rather because society has assigned him that role in life. he can't help it, really, but i'm working with him to improve on it. i told him that he couldn't be a wimp in that class because he'd die...either by me or one of the other kids. we all know he's a wimp; let's just say...he's not the most popular puppy in the pound...
"jared" is no wimp. he thinks he runs the class. he tells people how much they "stank," how much dumber they are than him, how ugly they are, how nasty they are, stuff like that. little does he know the extent to which the pot calls the kettle black. he's gonna be my greatest work of art at the end of the year. i'm going to pull a "ty pennington" and make him my secret project. by june, he's going to be so damn polite people won't know who he is.
meanwhile, i can't believe that i let them get me all riled up on a friday! i was definitely fragile today. by the end of the day i was walking around with a belt around my neck and a song in my heart. what song? i believe it goes a little like this: "i hate you so much right now, i hate you so much right now...AHHHH...i hate you so much right now!" it's by kelis. they're so raw right now that i can't get any work done. i'm supposed to individually assess their reading, but it's very hard to focus on 1 child when 19 others are cutting up even though i'm still in the room. yeah, they're that bold. but believe you me...that sh*t ain't gon' last. i realize now what i have to do. oh yeah, we 'bout to fight. i'm not really a "hood" person, but come tuesday (monday's a holiday...luckily for them) i'm putting the north dallas to the side and bringing out the oak cliff...just for them. i think it'll be fun!
wow, that rant really helped me. now i'm ready for a drank to kick off the weekend...i just woke up from a nap to cleanse my mind of children...yuck.
to friday!
-w
PS: i'll post again tomorrow or some time about things more relevant in my life, like volleyball and board games.
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